The Art of Belonging- A surfer’s perspective
Ventura, California, December 2020. I entered a surf spot called C street with my friend, Caleb, and left the water alone.
It was a Thursday, the first day of a West-Northwest swell that was the biggest of its kind in a calendar year. Caleb and I got skunked(didn’t find waves) up in Santa Barbara at dawn, so we decided to drive down to C Street. I had told Caleb for weeks how fun C Street is. As we arrived, the surf looked very nice when we compared it to Santa Barbara, about head high and occasional 1–2 feet overhead. We paddled out into the break where the waves were biggest. I was scared, Caleb was stoked. I have only surfed C Street on my Longboard when the waves were chest high.
The lulls were long but the sets were rapid, we would sometimes wait for 15 minutes for a wave. Suddenly, waves would be seen out the back getting ready to demolish us. I only took a couple of waves on my head, my shoulders were burning but my mind was focused, I processed and performed every technique I knew to get myself out of this situation. “Don’t hesitate, that’s when you get injured” I told myself.
I hadn’t forgotten all about Caleb, I knew he was 50 feet behind me. After getting tossed around a few times I got into position, only to think about how much Caleb is getting worked.
Caleb has already been catching waves and I have just been paddling around, but still stoked. I am not alone.
“Would I be out here alone?” I asked myself
I am going to share my perspective on how important a sense of belonging can be to a surfer.
Why the story? The point is I wasn’t alone out in the water.
A famous psychologist by the name of Abraham Maslow developed a theory called “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.” It is structured into a pyramid with your most basic needs at the bottom and self-fulfillment needs, our most “rewarding” at the top.
Even-though I don’t want to make this a lecture, it is important to understand that this article is going to balance a fine line of Basic needs, Security and Safety, mixed with Psychological needs, Belongingness, and love. What I find fascinating is that surfing is just a singular example of where this fine line can make or break someone's interest in the sport, or any activity for that matter. The balance between basic needs and psychological needs may be overlooked in our daily lives and we don’t even recognize it. Allow me to materialize my thoughts.
Starting with Basic Needs. In surfing, there is a level of comfort that has to be satisfied in order for a person to feel the need to partake in surfing. Whether it may be the size of the wave being too big for comfort or a fear of what roams in the depths of the ocean. I would like to believe that if people feel unsafe or lack security, and thus partaking in the sport of surfing may be a thought of the past unless you have a level of cognitive dysfunction that does not allow you to sense fear. To dive slightly deeper, I do think beginners who may be the largest group that suffers from the fear of safety can slowly grow into the sport of surfing. To start, they can start on beaches that are sand bottom and not reef so there is less fear of cutting themselves on any sharp objects. Start with small waves! In Southern California, there are beaches that are perfect for beginners with small waves. Places with smaller waves typically have a sense of party wave culture. I am not telling you to go cut people off, but there are situations in which you will find 10 people on a wave.
Intimidation through the surf community is a great segue from the basic needs into psychological needs. Why? Through my lens, intimidation can alter the sense of fear and the sense of belongingness. If a new surfer has become comfortable with the ocean and the wave size but is intimidated by the community of surfers in those waters, I have a hard time believing that person will thoroughly enjoy going back to that surf spot.
This brings us to the psychological need, belonging. In many ways, surfing is seen as a self-powered sport, but I am here to be the devil’s advocate and tell you why it is not as individualistic as it may seem. Social media and beyond, we find style in many different forms. In the coffee shops we choose to go to, in the people we see out in the lineup, in the strangers who drive your favorite car while on the freeway. That being said, we are all easily influenced whether we like to believe it or not and surfing is nothing less of one big influence. Why do some people like to have one fin, or three fins; six-foot boards, or nine-foot boards. I would like to believe what board someone chooses to ride is because that form of surfing brings the purest of joy to their soul. In my altered perspective where I play this Maslow’s advocate I will call it: I truly believe a surfer’s truest need is to belong.
In another light, belonging isn’t only metaperceptions, but it is about who you choose to be around in a particular moment. There are numerous personalities within the sport. Each person has the ability to surf alone, but when it comes to surfing with others that surfer can pick and choose who they carpool with, where they surf to see the same faces on a daily basis, and so forth. In my experience, when I do paddle out alone, I enjoy listening to the folks that have a sense of familiarity. I don’t know if they have known each other for a few weeks or a few decades. Using judgment, I can tell if they seem to be close, based on the questions and topics that are brought up. “Duuuude, how’s Cindy and the kids?” or “It’s been a while! How’s it going, Hannah?”
I love this aspect of surfing because I myself enjoy both scenarios, surfing alone, focusing on my session, and being in my own world. On the other hand, I also love paddling out with my best friends and sharing stories of the past week, talking about waves, and catching up on life. To me, I feel like I belong just perfectly in both scenarios, but I would be lying to you if I said I never get lonely out in the water. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear similar words from other surfers if they chose to open up about their feelings within their surf community.
Final Thoughts- I do think the fine line of psychological and basic needs is very attainable through practice. We are all beginners at some point in time with every skill or activity we choose to hone in on, but understanding your psychological dilemma is the same hill to climb for a lot of people. The Art of Belonging is a different journey for each person, although if it is understood that most people have similar thoughts when it comes to feeling part of a community, a sense of inclusivity may not feel so out of reach. Belonging can be mistaken for having the largest group of friends, having the coolest boards, or having friends who are the best surfers, and that is the misconception I find across the sport of surfing. Surf that one to two-foot mushy waves and charge your favorite spots with your goofball friends if that is what balances that fine line of psychological and basic needs.
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